27th August 2007

Logbook Entry 27-08-07

Being jobless for the last three months have sent me thinking what do I want in live at all. I believe that this is a stage where most people also go through.

Searching for one's goals or purposes in life. Without a doubt, if i cannot see what lay ahead of myself, how can I be sure of what I am?

The question of who and what I am born for have been troubling me for a long time. I am going to be one to contribute to society or one taking from it. True, one cannot measure in practical terms where one would stand in his or her own eyes; it is always through eyes of others that measure one.

For example, for the past 3 months, I having working on the idea of running a business with my ex-collegue. However the project keep running into trouble at every turn. Furthermore with my parents and girlfriend against the whole idea in the first place, I am not sure on whether I should continue or go find a job. The problem is that the project have not even taken shape yet, I am thinking of quitting.

Hence for the past week I was weighing the pro and cons of this. Should I continue, my mum and girlfriend would be continuous worrying about it and me. Yet I may unwillingly to let go without going through the motions at all. Therefore the deep blue sea and the devil, for me to choose one.

In the midist of all, I made a decision to try out something else which I could do in my ample spare time now to get my mind off the matter. I just went and spent close to S$300 on some literature to see whether can I get an internet project off the ground. I personally feel at least something that I can control the destiny by my self. Instead of the business project, where I need to see the temper and emtions of my partners.

With this, I end my first entry in this log